Superstitions can be pretty darn funny, if not downright insulting. For example, my own grandfather, a Pennsylvania German, once told my mother that women who went out to the field at midnight, stood on a pile of cow poop, and swore off God would become witches. Growing up, it was quite a visual to humor over.
Most people who have researched other religions other than their own know that witches, Pagans, Heathens, and Wiccans (etc.) do not believe in the Devil. In fact, they do not want anything to do with the three major patriarchal religions. They do not become witches by standing on dung, conjuring up the Devil, or by swearing off God.
In spite of this, here are some of the more humorous and gruesome methods for becoming a witch, according to folk beliefs and superstitions. I do not recommend you try any of these methods as they are all bullocks.
Spinning Wheel
Carry a spinning wheel to the top of a hill at midnight. Swear off God and offer yourself to the Devil. Sit and wait until the wheel begins to spin and other witches appear. You will be initiated into their coven.
Dead Black Cat
This gruesome superstition required the body of a black cat that died from old ago. To become a witch, according to the superstition, you had to cut off the head of the dead cat with one swift blow. Place a pea seed in each eye of the cat and bury the head. When the peas grew out and produced pods, the fresh peas were collected, cooked, and eaten. You would then be a witch.
Moon Shoot
Go outside on the night of the full moon and shoot nine silver bullets at the moon, swearing off God each time. When you are done, you will be a witch. Another superstition states that you have to shoot seven silver bullets at the moon at midnight while saying the Lord’s Prayer backwards.
Birth
Many people believed that witch traits were inherited. If your mother was a witch, you would be one, too. This is why Christian witch hunters murdered so many children. If the mother or even the father was pronounced a witch, the children could also become witches.
Between My Hands
This method for becoming a witch is covered in many folk stories. Basically, you place your left hand on your head and your right hand on your left foot and say something like, “To the Devil, I give you all that is between my hands.” Afterwards, you are a witch.
