The “Advice to the Lovelorn” column, published in the Omaha Daily Bee back in the early 1900s, was, for many, the best part of the newspaper. Below are some of the bits of advice given to writers.
Spooning in 1913?
Dear Miss Fairfax: I have been keeping a steady company with a young gentleman for about six months. What I mean by steady company is this: I have not been out with any other men nor he with any other girls since we have started going with each other. We see each other every night. We are deeply in love with each other. This gentleman is ten years my senior.
He has asked me to become engaged to him on my eighteenth birthday. I know my parents will not object, as they like him very much. I have not as yet given my answer to him as to whether I will accept a ring on my eighteenth birthday, as I wanted your advice on the matter first.
Is it advisable to spoon with a young man of a passionate disposition? S.S.
Response: You love each other; your parents approve; there is no reason why you should not become engaged and, eventually, happily married.
In answer to your second inquiry: Most emphatically NO! [Source]
Education a Prize
Dear Miss Fairfax: I am a constant reader of The Omaha Bee. The first thing I read is “Advice for Lovelorn.” I come to you for advice. I am a girl of 18 years old. My parents want me to finish high school this year, but an obstacle came in the way.
I met two gentlemen. One is 19 and the other 32. The one that is 32 asked me to marry him next spring. My parents object to him because he is so old. Do you think age makes any difference? They want me to go with the other, but I don’t love him. What shall I do?
I am a very popular girl. I have red hair and blue eyes. Hoping to see this letter in print. Yours cordially, Blue Eyes.
Response: I am always in favor of higher education and really think you are making a mistake in not continuing high school. As far as picking your future husband, that is a question you must decide for yourself. You have come to a turning point and you must make the decision alone. [Source]
Jealousy Issue
Dear Miss Fairfax: I read your “Advice to Lovelorn” every evening and I have come to you for advice. I have been going with a girl of 18 years for two years and she always seemed to love me dearly and always said she did till about a week ago, when she went out with one of my boy friends for a car ride, but I did not know it till one of my other boy friends told me, and I was there the next day and she never said nothing an seemed to love me like always. Should I quit her or go to see her again? Thanking you for advice – would like to see in print soon. The Lonesome Boy
Response: I see nothing wrong in your girlfriend going for a ride with another boy friend. Why should you quit calling? Unless you are engaged you have no right to question her evenings with other boys. [Source]
A Brutal Reply
Dear Miss Fairfax: We are two boys, 19 and 20, and are considered good looking, but we weigh around 200 pounds and the girls we go with weigh only 100 pounds. They tell us that nobody loves a fat man. Is this true? If so, how can we reduce? – Allan and Charley
Response: Drink a cup of hot water in the morning and eat no breakfast, little lunch and only a moderate dinner. The first few days you will feel a little ill, but after that you will be all right – better than ever. This will reduce your weight. Nobody loves a fat man. [Source]
Do Not Marry for Money
Dear Miss Fairfax: I am a young girl 18 years of age. I am exceedingly pretty and popular among the boys. My folks are very well to do, so I do not have to work.
I am writing about two boys, so I will call them Jack and Billy. A while back I fell very much in love with Billy. He is very poor but is working his way upward. My parents have set their hearts upon my marrying Jack. He does nothing but go around smoking cigarettes. I detest this boy and can never marry him, although he has asked me to twice. Billy asked me to marry him also, but I have not given my consent yet. I do not like to disappoint my folks so I am coming to you for advice. Thanking you in advance, I am your constant reader. – Blanche
Response: Your parents should not try to “sell” you. Marrying for money is about the most miserable bargain a girl can make. You are young. Why not wait a couple of years and see if the man you love doesn’t prove himself capable of supporting a family. [Source]
Waving is Cheap
Dear Miss Fairfax: We are constant readers of your “Advice to the Lovelorn” and now we are coming to you for advice with our own little troubles. We are twins, 15 years old, and very popular with the boys, and we would like to know if it is improper to flirt with the boys in school, and if a respectable boy asks to take us home from a social or such should we refuse them? Also, when going past a couple of boys we are well acquainted with is it improper to wave at them – that is, we mean if they are a short distance away? – Lee and Vee
Response: Even girls of 15 should have an innate sense of refinement which would keep them from flirting. There is nothing quite so cheap, although it may be harmless, as a flirtatious girl. I see no harm in a boy friend accompanying you home from a social, but I do think it is much sweeter and more refined to bow to your boy friends than to wave your hands like a switchman or a flagman. [Source]
Wasted Time
Dear Miss Fairfax: I am a girl of 19 and am going out quite often with a gentleman eight years my senior.
He has never said anything to me of his intentions, whether serious or not, but if I sometimes talk about it, he tells me he does not intend to marry for about five or six years.
I greatly admire him, and I am sure it is likewise with him, but do you think I am wasting my time going with him and neglecting other opportunities? – Half Disappointed.
Response: It is not your privilege to force a declaration from him. On the other hand, if you think he is monopolizing your time needlessly, it is your privilege to refuse to see so much of him.
Give him to understand, without saying so, that it makes no difference to you what his marrying intentions may be. [Source]
Soldier Boy
Dear Miss Fairfax: My lover, who is a soldier boy, is in a training camp many miles from me. He is unable to get a furlough to come and see me. He expects to leave for France soon and he wants me to come and visit him for a few days before he goes across. He says, he thinks it would be all right, but I don’t know whether it is the correct thing to do or not. I have no one to go with me. He is a very nice young man and would not ask me to do anything that he thought was not right. I haven’t seen him for over six months, but he writes every few days. We are engaged and he has asked me to marry him before he goes. We love each other dearly and I want to see him very much. Please advise me as to what I should do. – Brown Eyes.
Response: If there is a hostess house near the camp where your fiancé is stationed, I should not hesitate to visit him. Here you may stay and enjoy his company in pleasant surroundings. You will find a motherly woman in charge of the hostess house who will be glad to help you in any way and she will act as your chaperone during your stay. It was for this purpose that these hostess houses were built by the Young Women’s Christian association that the mothers and friends of our soldiers could visit them at the cantonments. [Source]
