The following bits of news comes from newspapers published in 1838. It gives the overall feel of the times, the personalities of the peoples, the humors, and the small, everyday tragedies of life.
A few days since, a country fellow entered one of the New York banks and, marching up to the counter, exclaimed, “Here I am. I want you to take a fair look at me.” Without a word further, he strode out. The next day the same customer appeared, uttered the same words, and again disappeared. The third day, at about the same time, he walked in and advanced to the teller’s desk. He threw down a draft payable three days after sight. – “Now,” he said, “you’ve seen me three times. I want the money for it.”
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Bus – to kiss.
Re-bus – to kiss again.
Blunder-bus – two girls kissing each other.
Omni-bus – to kiss all the girls in the room.
Bus-ter – a general kisser.
E pluribus unum – a thousand kisses in one.
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An Albany man advertises for his runaway wife who “is about 15 years of age, and of a loving disposition, and has on three rattan hoops.”
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An Irishman was asked why he wore his stockings wrong side out?
“Because there is a hole on the other side of ‘em,” was the reply.
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The love of society is natural, but the choice of our company is a matter of virtue and prudence.
The planters of Louisiana are selling molasses at $4.60 per barrel, which is just about fifteen cents a gallon.
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An exchange asks, “What is money?” Really we have not seen any for so long that we do not feel qualified to answer. [Source]
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A philosophical gentleman was one day passing a new school house, erected somewhere near the setting sun borders of our glorious Union, when his attention was suddenly aroused by a crowd of persons gathering around the door.
He inquired of a boy whom he met, what was going on.
“Well nothin’, ‘cept the school committee, and they’re going in.”
“Oh, committee meets today, eh? What for?”
“Well,” continued the boy, “you see Bill, that’s our biggest boy, got mad the other day at the teacher, so he went all over and gathered dead cats. Nothing but cats and cats. Oh! it was awful, them cats!”
“Pshaw! what have the cats to do with the school committee?”
“Now, well, you see, Bill kept bringing cats and cats, always piling ‘em up yonder,” the boy pointed to a big pile, as large in extent as a pyramid, and considerably aromatic, “and he piled them and piled them. Nothing but cats.”
“Never mind, my son, what Billy did. What has the committee met for?”
“Then Bill got sick handling ‘em and everybody got sick nosing ‘em, but Bill got madder and didn’t give up, but kept a piling up the cats – and -“
“Tell me what the committee are holding a meeting for?”
“Why, the school committee are going to hold a meeting to say whether they’ll move the school house or them cats!”
The old gentleman evaporated immediately.
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A remarkable story is told of a little girl, whose parents reside in Orange township, Hancock county, Ohio, having been recently visited by an angel, who talked with her and told her when she would die and how, and designated the person who should preach her funeral sermon, and the place where it should be delivered. All of which it is averred, has actually taken place as the messenger declared.
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Two thousand barrels of whale oil have been sold at Mystic, Conn., to a New York house, for 50 cents per gallon, cash.
The Indianapolis and Lafayette papers are filled with the arrests of counterfeiters. Among them is a woman. The whole state seems to be infested with counterfeiters.
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A young woman in Philadelphia recently married, named Barnes, committed suicide by shooting herself through the heart, on account of a whispered intrigue between her husband and a former lover.
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A family in Ohio has been poisoned, and one of the members has died, from using apple butter that had been placed last fall in earthen crocks, the glazing on the inside of which is said to be poisonous.
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At one of the recent meetings of the N.Y. Historical Society, Dr. Bacon read a paper on the languages spoken in New York City. Eighty languages, he said, are used in business and social intercourse among the inhabitants of that city. [Source]
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A theological professor, speaking of Balaam’s ass, says it is wrong to doubt that the ass spoke like a man when we daily hear so many men speak like asses.
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Have you got a sister? Then love and cherish her with a holy friendship. If you have no sister, we advise you to love somebody else’s sister.
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Lovers conceal their faults from one another, and deceive themselves. Friends confess their faults to one another, and pardon mutually.
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Should you be talking to a thin lady, of another thin lady, you needn’t describe the party alluded to as a “scraggy old maid.”
“Gone a ducking,” is the term used for a young “feller” in Arkansas, who goes to “set up” with a young woman.
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A false friend and a shadow attend only when the sun shines.
A lad named O’Brien who peddles ice on the Elyria (Ohio) cars, found $5,500 in bank notes in a car and returned the money the next day to the loser, H.E. Muzzey of Elyria, who rewarded him with a suit of clothes and a deed of 160 acres of land. [Source]
