After having spent yet another day deep in the newspaper archives, I have decided to compile yet another list of unusual news reports from the past.
1. Three Men Argue Over Time
First, I want to share with you this little gem I found published in 1915.
Apparently, three men were standing at a Chicago train station and began to discuss the time. Each of the three men had a different time on their watches and they all thought that their watch showed the correct time.
Well, the argument over the exact time became extremely heated and the train conductor had to call the police.
As a result, all three men were arrested. [Source]
2. Tombstone Censorship
Now, while some people enjoy a good public argument, others prefer to air their grievances in other ways, such as on headstones. However, cemeteries generally censor what people put on those headstones.
For example, an article on headstone censorship published in 1905 gives us the story of a young man who was killed by a boiler explosion in a mill where he worked. His family, deep in grief and understandably bitter, wanted the words “Murdered by his masters” on the young man’s headstone because they believed that the owner of the mill had known the boiler was defective. Of course, such a statement was not allowed.
In another example of headstone censorship, a widow who believed her husband’s doctor was responsible for his death wanted “He employed a cheap doctor” written on the headstone. Her request was denied because the statement could lead to her getting sued. [Source]
3. Missed the Spittoon
In other news, Officer Donnelly of Iowa had one heck of a day back in September of 1907. The article begins:
“Considerable excitement was caused on the street this morning when Will Donnelly, of the city police force, ran down West First Avenue and up to Dr. Clark’s office, holding his wrist as the blood ran freely onto the walk from a deep gash. He was completely exhausted when he reached the top of the stairs and was unable explain the cause of the accident until later.”
So what happened?
Well, apparently Officer Donnelly stopped at a woman’s house while investigating a case. As he waited for the woman in the front room, he decided to use the spittoon. He leaned too far on the chair, lost his balance, and then “threw out his hand to catch himself and struck his left wrist on the broken edge of the earthenware spittoon, cutting a deep gash” into his wrist.
Not waiting around to question the woman, he dashed out of the house and ran to the doctor’s office. [Source]
4. The Chicken Lady
Now, imagine entering a burning house and being assaulted by terrified chickens .
This happened in 1913, San Jose, California after an airtight heater exploded. The homeowner was described as an elderly eccentric woman. No one knew until the fire that she had been living in a house filled with chickens.
The report states:
“As the firemen fought the flames, singed bantams and larger fowls with their feathers burned darted between their legs.”
As for the elderly woman, she did survive the initial explosion, but was severely burned. [Source: The San Francisco call. (San Francisco, Calif.), 01 Dec. 1913.]
Still, this seems like a great setup for a classic murder mystery story.
5. Coughed Up Bayonet
Finally, we come to my favorite what the fork article of the day.
In Los Angeles, James Plunket began coughing up blood. His family believed he was dying of consumption and began preparing for the worst when one day in January of 1902, James coughed up the tip of a bayonet and began to get well again.
It was quickly discovered that while he served with the forty first volunteer infantry he used his bayonet as a can opener. In all probability, James broke the tip off his bayonet and swallowed it as he ate his food. [Source]
