Today on what the fuck news from the past, we learn that 7-year-old Joan of Los Angeles got her tongue stuck while drinking water out of a beer can. The metal had to be cut away to release her tongue from its holy captivity. [Source]
From out of Hollidaysburg, Pa., we hear that Frank Fusco made a bet with a friend that Frank could stay under water for a whole two minutes. His body was recovered two hours later. [Source]
And in man versus beast, a flock of angry geese blocked traffic on the Trenton, NJ trolley line. Motormen and trolley passengers tried to get the geese to move, but were attacked by the militant foul. A mail carrier who tried to shoo the geese had his uniform torn to pieces. [Source]
In Wisconsin, a district court ruled that a father has the right to whip his daughter’s suitor. Mr. Swann caught a young man trying to elope with his daughter. He whipped the lovestruck fool and was arrested for assault. However, the court decided the father had every right to whip the young man, and released the dad. [Source]
Meanwhile, a Russian man was arrested in Philadelphia for walking the streets in his bare feet. After he convinced the court that he was not insane, he was set free. [Source]
In Quebec, a train engineer and a fireman thought they saw headlights on the train tracks. Fearing a collision, both men jumped from the train. However, it was a false alarm and there was no collision. The engineer died from the jump and the fireman was badly injured. [Source]
And finally, a Chicago municipal judge released a man arrested for disorderly conduct. Burt Harkins was in charge of housework and cooking meals for he and his wife, and felt that the chores gave him a legal right to drink and get publicly drunk. The judge agreed. [Source]
