They had a rather odd sense of humor in the early 20th century and most jokes published would not be told in public today. Below are a few of the safer, but still twisted, jokes from the past.
Poor Creature
“Little Boy,” asked the well meaning reformer, “is that your mamma over yonder with those beautiful feathers in her hat?”
“Yes, sir,” answered the bright lad.
“Well, do you know what poor creature it is that has had to suffer in order that your momma might have feathers in her hat?”
“Yes, sir. My papa.”
What’s the Use
Sage: Know thyself.
Cynic: What’s the use? It’s not an acquaintance from whom I can borrow money.
She Answered Back
Mrs. Elder: You fancy yourself very clever, I dare say, but I could give you a wrinkle or two.
Miss Younger: No doubt you could, and you’d never miss them.
Turnovers
A boy remembers his mother’s turnovers with more joy than his father’s turn overs.
Reason for Refusal
Pharmacist: I’m afraid I can’t let you have that drug, sir.
Customer: Why not? Do I look like a man who would kill himself?
Pharmacist: Well, I wouldn’t go so far as to say that, sir, but if I looked like you I should be tempted.
Beauty Indeed
The maiden asked: “Can you make me beautiful?”
“For $5,” said the witch, “I can make you so beautiful that all men will turn to stare at you as you pass.”
The maiden smiled disdainfully. Her experience had taught her this was not such an easy matter.
“For $10,” said the witch, “I can make you so beautiful that the photographer will copyright your pictures.”
Still the maiden, unsatisfied, shook her head.
“For $15 – and only one at that price,” said the witch – “I can make you so beautiful that you will not have a woman friend in all the world.”
“Ah,” cried the maiden, rapturously, “that will be beauty indeed!”
He Comes at Last
Householder (in pajamas): By Jove, a real burglar. I say, just wait a minute, will you?
Burglar: While you call a copper? I don’t think so.
Householder: No. Only while I call my wife. She’s heard you every night for 20 years, and it’ll be a real pleasure to her to see you at last.
