Today on what the fuck news from the past, we learn that an Indiana police judge fined himself for speeding. After fining several drivers for speeding, he called his own name, pled guilty to speeding, and entered a judgement against himself. [Source]
In Brewster, Ohio, a young man promised his boarding school friends that he could give them a perfect imitation of a man hanging himself. The young man slipped a towel around his neck, attached the loose end to a cornice, stumbled, and broke his neck. [Source]
In Fort Plain, New York, a man’s touring car caught fire and burned down an old elm tree in his yard. As the mess was being cleaned up and the remains of the tree cleared away, the man found an old iron chest under the roots of the tree. The chest contained gold coins and other valuable items. [Source]
In another case of buried treasure, two Florida boys found an ancient map in the ruins of a Spanish shell house on Fort George Island. Following the map, the boys claimed to have found $150,000 in gold, silver, and copper coins in a strong box buried six feet deep. The coins are dated from the 1700s. [Source]
Meanwhile, John of Minneapolis held a funeral for his right leg. His leg had been cut off by a street car. He had the leg placed in a coffin and stored in a burial vault. [Source]
A Kansas man died after an operation to find his teeth. George Wingfield kept his false teeth in a glass of water beside his bed. One morning he woke up and the teeth were not in the glass. Thinking he had accidentally swallowed his teeth, he was operated on. George did not survive the operation. After his funeral, his widow discovered his teeth in a glass of water on the windowsill. [Source]
And finally, a San Francisco deputy sheriff went to collect a judgment from Beck, a saloon owner. However, the saloon owner was having none of it. Beck took off the deputy’s star, took away his gun, and gave the deputy a spanking. [Source]
